The past three months I’ve lived in a new community, keeping to myself, discovering or, rather, rediscovering, who I am. I’ve spent time on eating right, or trying to, exercising and I’ve lost 20 pounds so far. Mentally, I’ve been trying to recapture my positive outlook on life, that I lost during my marriage. Love, loss, betrayal sounds great in a romance or mystery novel but in real life, can be much more devastating. The mental mind tricks that are played are difficult to overcome at times.
Coming out of a Northwest Winter can be difficult, with Seasonal Affective Disorder, combined with Social Anxiety Disorder and Major Depressive Disorder. Adding to that when a loved one doesn’t believe in physical or mental disease or disability, overcoming Depression can be difficult. I’ve made changes, in both location and mental awareness. I know talking about disease or disability is a no-no, especially on social media, but it needs to be said.
Depression takes many forms–it’s not always what is popular on movies or music videos. Pus I can only talk about what I go through. Depression can be not wanting to leave your bed. Depression can be avoiding people or hobbies you once enjoyed. Depression can be starving yourself or overeating. Depression and Social Anxiety Disorder often go hand in hand–so sometimes I want to join a community activity, but previous interactions left me feeling cold.
Depression isn’t something you ‘get over’, or the oversimplification of ‘just get out and meet people’. These statements are more harmful and will drive others like me further into our shell. Appearance and weight often trigger depressive symptoms. Myself included. During the past week or two, my weight has yo-yo’d from 160 to 167, to 161 to 163, back to 166 and 165. I’ve written in my free introduction to my cookbook series, not to concentrate on a scale, instead, use a tape measure, which is more indicative of fitness.
Depression can be difficult, for the person and loved ones. Just hang in there.